"Neurotic, ha!" I let out a scornful laugh.
"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."

"The streets of London have their map; but our passions are uncharted. What are you going to meet if you turn this corner?"

I remember being naively optimistic during my early college years when I thought that I could be anything I wanted, do anything I liked, and all the pieces would just fit together and tick along like rotating gears in a clock. First I wanted to be an architect, and then I didn't. Then I was set on being a travel writer, thinking that I could actually travel the world on someone elses' wallet and all I'd have to do was write about it. And there'd be a naturally captivated audience at my fingertips, because I could turn words into magic, even if writing about a banal pile of rocks at the edge of a Coors Lite white-sand beach. Now that I'm technically "graduated", the real world is mowing my wildly rampant expectations down like a bulldozer. And those rose-colored glasses? Shattered a long ways ago.

I'm starting to rethink a lot of the plans I made when I was still safely secure behind my books, papers, and CLICC lab computers even just a few months ago. If I go to live in Australia and play and play and play and maybe work a little but all the while still playing, what will I do when I come back? Can I just jump smoothly onto the career train like I never got off? Won't people look at my resume and think... wtf did you do that year? If I get into graduate school, how will I afford it with the already hovering slabs of student loans above my head? Or even worse, what if I DON'T get into graduate school... what will I do then? What if I don't want to get my PhD, what will I do with a useless MA in English? What if I'm stuck in LA forever, and never get to relocate to even as close as NYC? Would I really have to get a 9-5? Or at the lowest pond-scum point, what if I CAN'T even get a desk job and am stuck moping around for who knows how long? What if I can't shake this noose of uncertainty and apprehension from around my neck, and the knot just slowly tightens itself with each day past, until...?

All I've ever wanted was to not have a giant wall ahead of me, to have a clear, open road, winding freely and endlessly to an existential wonderland. But now I can't see the paving anymore. The road just ends at my feet while I stare confoundedly out onto a dry, vacant space. I guess that obviously means I have to pave the road myself. but what if I really don't know where I'm going? or what if I can't go anywhere at all?

I think this "life is a road" Robert Frost metaphore is starting to get old. Don't you think?

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well

~Virginia Woolf~

Whether I've been doing the previous three are questionable, but I've definitely been dining well. In the last two weeks, I've eaten out almost every day. "How do you afford it on a poor college student's income of $0/hr?!?" you might ask. Well, you know those yelp ratings? I never go anywhere that doesn't have just one "$" sign. Maybe "$$" when it's real special. And you know those things called happy hours? I abuse them to no end. Those happy hours that start at 10:00 pm on a Sunday night that no one else will ever possibly take advantage of? Well, I'm there! I've had some failures, but success is oh-so-delicious! It's summer after all, what else would you be doing? At least that's my excuse. I guess you could be doing a lot besides becoming a fat ass. Ok, so I'm a hedonist, I ain't denying it! Here are some of the places worth checking out, cuz I have a camera now:

25 Degrees (Hollywood)

Smack in the middle of the tacky end of Hollywood Blvd

inside the Roosevelt Hotel

Happy Hour: 3-7pm everyday;

better for drinks, not so much for food

known for their burgers but we didn't have any. $12?!

Who do they think they are, Father's Office??

but their $2 sweet potato fries are piled-on worthy! Even if served with ketchup and mustard...

And yes, that is a GUINNESS MILKSHAKE!!!

The milkshake shakedown is officially over,

and this one takes the Gold!

Bodega Wine Bar (Santa Monica, picture stolen from Jo):

Happy Hour: Everyday from 4-6, and Sundays all day

half-off wine by the glass, and selected appetizers

PS. the bruchetta sucks

cheese platter looks promising

Cabo Cantina!!! (Wilshire, exclamations not in name)

awesome crowd and environment, constantly packed

Taco Tuesdays: $4.99 for all-you-can-eat tacos

Happy Hour: 4-8pm buy one get one drinks

They basically have some kinda deal every single day,

aka. foot-long burrito Weds.

Scoops (somewhere near downtown LA)

Cute little ice cream shop near Downtown in shady neighborhood, but worth the possible drive-bys

Unique flavors like Brown Bread (I think it's the most popular), Black Sesame, Peanut Butter and Wine, Pistachio and Cream Cheese, and Guinness Chocolate (BUT THEY WERE OUT!!!)

Pure Luck Restaurant (across from Scoops)

important note: VEGAN (I know why did I even bother)

looks sooooo shady outside but ADORABLE inside, like a little hipster hide-away

great beer selection

YUMMY sweet potato fries (the sauce pairing adds the OOMPH)

fusion foods with America, Mexican, Indian, etc...

Lots of Jackfruit, Beans and Tofu... things that herbivores eat

Blu Jam Cafe (Melrose)

Daily Breakfast Special (8-11AM)

All breakfast plates $7.95

So filling and delicious... great for hangovers AND sober days

Cozy/artsy atmosphere, interesting crowd, AMAZING potatoes

Easy to find street parking

Vienna Cafe (Melrose)

SWEETEST WAIT STAFF EVER!!!

Olive Oil dip and bread in the beginning is easily worth the trip

GIANT PERK: FREE BREAD TO TAKE HOME

they literally give you a bag of bread fresh from their bakery, rolls or loaves, to take home at the end of your meal. And they're gargantuan and generous.

The Steak Sandwich looks gross but is SO DELICIOUS and gooey

Chicken Sandwich with guacamole, etc.

all bread is fresh from the oven, so they recommend sandwiches

More Than Waffles (Encino)

HANDS DOWN MY NEW FAVORITE BREAKFAST PLACE because

1. Most precious atmosphere ever, like you're transported back to the South

2. Every single thing on the menu looks good

3. Omelet is stuffed to the max AND comes with golden waffles

4. Sweet, sweet vanilla Coffee

5. Is hidden in a deserted, sad little commercial mall

6. Gabrielle Union and Essence Atkins brunch here (we have proof!)

The Well (Hollywood)

GREAT Happy Hour: 5-9pm weekdays

$3 well drinks, $5 beers, half off appetizers (which are yummy but heart-attack inducing)

Hot n' Dirty Martinis are ZINGERS... basically hot sauce with a dry martini

Innovative drinks, but only for the strong-stomached and courageously-palleted

And there you have it! The hits of my excursions in the last 2ish wks. These are places I would definitely go back to! But only after a DD miraculously appears in our lives!