WORTH THE HURT

I ran my first marathon EVER this weekend, completing one of my "bucket list" tasks. not that I live strictly by that list anyway... they're more like mild aspirations.

Anyway, as I was saying, I ran my first marathon EVER this weekend in San Francisco. without training much.  Bad idea in that it made it so much more PAINFUL, but good idea in that I DID IT!!!  Before the 26.2 miles of pavement pounding, the furthest I had ever ran was 13.1 miles for the Palos Verdes Marathon, 3 months ago.

The SF Marathon was one of the most physically painful experiences I have ever endured in my life thus far.

Bad idea #2: I am not exaggerating when I say I didn't sleep a wink the night before.  Pre-race jitters, I tried my best to tell my brain to shut up, but when does it ever listen?

Bad idea #3: I didn't carbo-load much, since I spent half the morning on Saturday recovering from partying till 3AM on Friday, and the rest with Mike in a car for 7 hrs driving up to NorCal.  It was a sadly missed opportunity of ice cream and pasta and cookies and french toast... not that I need an excuse to carbo-load on a normal day... but eating before a race is pretty important

SO!

Miles 1-16: feelin' pretty good about myself, thinking, "This isn't so hard, the sleep factor isn't affecting me at all!  The electrolytes will keep me going!" I'm lovin the SF atmosphere, the view of the bridge, the cold refreshing air on my face, pretty much in love with life.  I'm passing some hardcore people.  Bring it on, hills!

Miles 16-19: the cramps start coming, in the knees, in the hips, in the ankles... anywhere where joints meet

Mile 19-20: longest mile OF MY LIFE.  I stop running for the first time, even though by this point my run pace is basically equivalent to an 80 year-old grandma's walking pace.  My legs stiffen and I feel like if I take another single step, it's all over

Miles 20-23: my body starts getting used to the craps and I run through them.  Pain starts feeling normal.  Probably not good for me

Miles 23-26.2: I FORCE myself to run these last 3.2 miles even though I really feel like just killing myself.  Everyone in my vicinity is limping too and it's not too encouraging.  Old people start passing me :( I keep running and just when I feel like I must walk or my legs will break off, a guy runs up next to me and says, "Come on!  Let's finish off strong!"  I force myself to smile and keep running even though inside I want to stab him with a steak knife and twist it and laugh maniacally.

Mile 26.2: I see Mike waiting for me at the finish line filming me and yelling my name and I use my last amount of energy to wave and yell, "Wooooooo!!!"  I cross the finish line expecting my body to celebrate but it feels SO BROKEN and my legs refuse to stop moving even though I'm done.  I feel like throwing up and grab the first Jamba Juice I see and literally gulp it in 3 seconds, grab a bottle of water and gulp it in 3 seconds, scarf down a banana, grab 5 peanut butter samples and 2 yogurt samples and down them, and then I crash on the sidewalk.  Mike calls me on my phone and I literally don't have the energy to pick up so I just sit there for a solid 10 minutes by myself before calling him back.

My knees feel like they're being stabbed with needles with every step I take, and for the next few hours my body is completely exhausted.  Mike and I go to this amazing Italian place in Berkeley for me to refuel, and I immediately start feeling better once I eat.  Then we go get Philz Coffee aka. nectar of the Gods, and that makes me feel even better :)

The marathon was one of the hardest things I've ever done, justt because it was so unexpectedly difficult. Now that I think back on it, it wasn't too bad, but I remember the feeling of death I felt during the course.  I am ECSTATIC that I did it.  The accomplishment I felt after crossing the finish line is totally WORTH THE HURT and overrules any feeling of physical pain that was only temporary.  Also, all joint pains went away within a few hours of sitting down.

I'm feeling like another marathon may be coming in the future... Chicago?  DC? New York?  BOSTON possibly?!?! [women need to run under 3hrs 40min to qualify for that one] Plus, marathons give me good reasons to visit these cities!  And I LOVE the free food after marathons :D

I know I should've learned the lesson of running without solid training, but I still don't think I will ever train hardcore for a marathon.  I've looked at running schedules and they basically dominate your life if you decide to follow them.  The time needed to train that much could easily be allocated for more important things like eating unhealthy foods and documenting useless crap on this blog.

I don't really know how I did it, but right after the marathon and meal I prepared myself for the 5 hour drive from SF to Mammoth Lakes for a 5 day backpacking trip with Mike's family and friends into the Sierra Mountains.

But that's a story for later :]

"it was less an identifiable city than a grouping of concepts..."

With all this talk about leaving LA soon and reminiscing over the messy, smoggy, traffic-congested, concrete maze that Kerouac touted as "the loneliest and most brutal of American cities", I've been trying to spend my last few weeks here relishing the ugliness that is LA, and all the memories encompassed within this disconnected, broken, erratic sprawl. (and yes I took that picture while I was driving...)

I didn't begin to appreciate or explore LA until the beginning of my Junior year, when I was able to drive around the confusing and winding streets, and explore the various districts on my own accord, with my own car.  That's when the lists really began :)

As a "good" college student, but mostly just a curious explorer, I was first obsessed with new coffee shops I could churn out essays and math problems at, beyond the bubble of Westwood.  Then, I became obsessed with restaurants.  College budget restaurants like Pink's, Dino's, Tito's, Zankou, Roscoe's, BCD, etc... or should I say cheap, quick, greasy, gratifying restaurants. Soon I became familiar with the museums, theaters, flea markets, festivals, happy hours, the hipsters of Silverlake, the beach bums of Venice, the yuppies in downtown Culver City, UCLA alums in Palms, the housewives in Beverly Hills, the bougie-breakfast places around Mid-Wilshire, the yoga studios in Santa Monica, the crazy fun in WeHo, and the mishmash of everyone from all walks of life in Hollywood.

Like any major city weaved together by a multitude of cultures, generations, styles, aspirations, and voices, a city is a living organism that can easily envelop you, turn your upside-downs to inside-outs, spin you around, and spit you back out without a single hint of regard for your confusion.

And that's exactly what I wonder if NYC will do to me.  Lure me in with its glittering skyscrapers and bridges and shining lights and promises of dreams within reach, and then swallow me up, thrash me around a bit, and leave me disconcerted, dazed and disillusioned.

But I am also aware that it can also offer its hidden gems.  And in LA, all the diamonds are well stashed beneath its hideous, polluted, concrete surface.  So they shouldn't be quite as difficult to discern in city of smaller square-footage and much more pleasing architecture, right?

Kerouac deigned LA as a jungle, even through his escapades across the entire US landscape, including cities infinitely more complicated and historic.  And yet I had always thought of Zoo York as the jungle. so I guess in reality, I'm really just moving from one jungle to the next!

From a sprawl of diffused chaos, to minimized and organized groups of chaos... perfect!  I'll be in my element :]