honey, let me sing you a song

I've forgotten how much failure can sting like a mothereffer that wont leave me alone.

In 5 years when I look back, this little piece of time in my life right now will seem so crucial, and I wonder if I'll be happy with what I've chosen to do. But living it now, I can't seem to make myself take it seriously. What I do now will determine an entire course of my life. It may seem like an exaggeration, but I don't think it is. It's like the decisions I made that shaped my high school experiences. Or even bigger, deciding to come to UCLA. Exploring Europe instead of doing an internship. Choosing the red pill over the blue pill :) A cornerstone that your every next move will pile upon like a domino effect until you've gone so far that when you look back you can't even pinpoint exactly where the all changes began. One of those.

According to Bob Marley, everything's gonna be alright. And deep down I know it too, but I think I need a little more convincing. Knowing myself, everything will be alright... Right?













I am getting back into the groove of LA life like I said I would, playing a little too much as always. I went to my first show of this qtr, Yael Naim (French-Israeli singer with a very unique persona, she sang "New Soul") and Matt Hires (new acoustic singer like Jason reeves, can't wait to see him make it big) at the Troubadour. AMAZING. Music is truly an escape, taking my mind even if temporarily, to someplace else. I still can't quite articulate how good music, esp live, makes me feel and why I love going so much, but I attempt to everytime. And I am still discovering even more about LA, from the delicious but shady hole-in-the-wall places (LA Buns & Co.) to hidden gems (Gr/eats).

But honestly, there's still a part of me that thirsts for something I can't quite explain. In this past summer, my little world just got a whole lot bigger. I've always wanted to see what more was out there, and having seen a glimpse of it, I can't undo it. And I'm really scared of this being the end of it.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. But basically, my priorities have been flipped upside down, and sometimes it feels like living this life is like trying to stuff something larger into a smaller compartment, but it just refuses to fit, always gushing out and spilling over.

Who knows,