WORTH THE HURT

I ran my first marathon EVER this weekend, completing one of my "bucket list" tasks. not that I live strictly by that list anyway... they're more like mild aspirations.

Anyway, as I was saying, I ran my first marathon EVER this weekend in San Francisco. without training much.  Bad idea in that it made it so much more PAINFUL, but good idea in that I DID IT!!!  Before the 26.2 miles of pavement pounding, the furthest I had ever ran was 13.1 miles for the Palos Verdes Marathon, 3 months ago.

The SF Marathon was one of the most physically painful experiences I have ever endured in my life thus far.

Bad idea #2: I am not exaggerating when I say I didn't sleep a wink the night before.  Pre-race jitters, I tried my best to tell my brain to shut up, but when does it ever listen?

Bad idea #3: I didn't carbo-load much, since I spent half the morning on Saturday recovering from partying till 3AM on Friday, and the rest with Mike in a car for 7 hrs driving up to NorCal.  It was a sadly missed opportunity of ice cream and pasta and cookies and french toast... not that I need an excuse to carbo-load on a normal day... but eating before a race is pretty important

SO!

Miles 1-16: feelin' pretty good about myself, thinking, "This isn't so hard, the sleep factor isn't affecting me at all!  The electrolytes will keep me going!" I'm lovin the SF atmosphere, the view of the bridge, the cold refreshing air on my face, pretty much in love with life.  I'm passing some hardcore people.  Bring it on, hills!

Miles 16-19: the cramps start coming, in the knees, in the hips, in the ankles... anywhere where joints meet

Mile 19-20: longest mile OF MY LIFE.  I stop running for the first time, even though by this point my run pace is basically equivalent to an 80 year-old grandma's walking pace.  My legs stiffen and I feel like if I take another single step, it's all over

Miles 20-23: my body starts getting used to the craps and I run through them.  Pain starts feeling normal.  Probably not good for me

Miles 23-26.2: I FORCE myself to run these last 3.2 miles even though I really feel like just killing myself.  Everyone in my vicinity is limping too and it's not too encouraging.  Old people start passing me :( I keep running and just when I feel like I must walk or my legs will break off, a guy runs up next to me and says, "Come on!  Let's finish off strong!"  I force myself to smile and keep running even though inside I want to stab him with a steak knife and twist it and laugh maniacally.

Mile 26.2: I see Mike waiting for me at the finish line filming me and yelling my name and I use my last amount of energy to wave and yell, "Wooooooo!!!"  I cross the finish line expecting my body to celebrate but it feels SO BROKEN and my legs refuse to stop moving even though I'm done.  I feel like throwing up and grab the first Jamba Juice I see and literally gulp it in 3 seconds, grab a bottle of water and gulp it in 3 seconds, scarf down a banana, grab 5 peanut butter samples and 2 yogurt samples and down them, and then I crash on the sidewalk.  Mike calls me on my phone and I literally don't have the energy to pick up so I just sit there for a solid 10 minutes by myself before calling him back.

My knees feel like they're being stabbed with needles with every step I take, and for the next few hours my body is completely exhausted.  Mike and I go to this amazing Italian place in Berkeley for me to refuel, and I immediately start feeling better once I eat.  Then we go get Philz Coffee aka. nectar of the Gods, and that makes me feel even better :)

The marathon was one of the hardest things I've ever done, justt because it was so unexpectedly difficult. Now that I think back on it, it wasn't too bad, but I remember the feeling of death I felt during the course.  I am ECSTATIC that I did it.  The accomplishment I felt after crossing the finish line is totally WORTH THE HURT and overrules any feeling of physical pain that was only temporary.  Also, all joint pains went away within a few hours of sitting down.

I'm feeling like another marathon may be coming in the future... Chicago?  DC? New York?  BOSTON possibly?!?! [women need to run under 3hrs 40min to qualify for that one] Plus, marathons give me good reasons to visit these cities!  And I LOVE the free food after marathons :D

I know I should've learned the lesson of running without solid training, but I still don't think I will ever train hardcore for a marathon.  I've looked at running schedules and they basically dominate your life if you decide to follow them.  The time needed to train that much could easily be allocated for more important things like eating unhealthy foods and documenting useless crap on this blog.

I don't really know how I did it, but right after the marathon and meal I prepared myself for the 5 hour drive from SF to Mammoth Lakes for a 5 day backpacking trip with Mike's family and friends into the Sierra Mountains.

But that's a story for later :]

"it was less an identifiable city than a grouping of concepts..."

With all this talk about leaving LA soon and reminiscing over the messy, smoggy, traffic-congested, concrete maze that Kerouac touted as "the loneliest and most brutal of American cities", I've been trying to spend my last few weeks here relishing the ugliness that is LA, and all the memories encompassed within this disconnected, broken, erratic sprawl. (and yes I took that picture while I was driving...)

I didn't begin to appreciate or explore LA until the beginning of my Junior year, when I was able to drive around the confusing and winding streets, and explore the various districts on my own accord, with my own car.  That's when the lists really began :)

As a "good" college student, but mostly just a curious explorer, I was first obsessed with new coffee shops I could churn out essays and math problems at, beyond the bubble of Westwood.  Then, I became obsessed with restaurants.  College budget restaurants like Pink's, Dino's, Tito's, Zankou, Roscoe's, BCD, etc... or should I say cheap, quick, greasy, gratifying restaurants. Soon I became familiar with the museums, theaters, flea markets, festivals, happy hours, the hipsters of Silverlake, the beach bums of Venice, the yuppies in downtown Culver City, UCLA alums in Palms, the housewives in Beverly Hills, the bougie-breakfast places around Mid-Wilshire, the yoga studios in Santa Monica, the crazy fun in WeHo, and the mishmash of everyone from all walks of life in Hollywood.

Like any major city weaved together by a multitude of cultures, generations, styles, aspirations, and voices, a city is a living organism that can easily envelop you, turn your upside-downs to inside-outs, spin you around, and spit you back out without a single hint of regard for your confusion.

And that's exactly what I wonder if NYC will do to me.  Lure me in with its glittering skyscrapers and bridges and shining lights and promises of dreams within reach, and then swallow me up, thrash me around a bit, and leave me disconcerted, dazed and disillusioned.

But I am also aware that it can also offer its hidden gems.  And in LA, all the diamonds are well stashed beneath its hideous, polluted, concrete surface.  So they shouldn't be quite as difficult to discern in city of smaller square-footage and much more pleasing architecture, right?

Kerouac deigned LA as a jungle, even through his escapades across the entire US landscape, including cities infinitely more complicated and historic.  And yet I had always thought of Zoo York as the jungle. so I guess in reality, I'm really just moving from one jungle to the next!

From a sprawl of diffused chaos, to minimized and organized groups of chaos... perfect!  I'll be in my element :]

Catalina Dreamin'

This past Carmaggedon weekend, Mike's mom took me, Mike, Mike's brother, and his gf to an all-expense paid 4 day vacation to Catalina... one of the BEST VACATIONS I'VE EVER HAD!!!

I used to think of Catalina as one of those places middle-aged people in California vacationed to when they just want to feel like they're in a cleaner, safer, watered-down version of Mexico... or got a sudden craving for traveling but don't ACTUALLY feel like traveling.

And yes, there were a lot of middle-aged vacationers this past weekend in Hawaiian print flannels and loafers... but like every trip, adventure, journey, and destination, it's what you make of it!

We snorkeled every single day, kayaked, jumped off rocks, biked, hiked, ate unspeakable amounts of ice cream and nachos, and drank gallons of buffalo's milk!

We all shared a condo and had a blast hanging out together :D There were gigantic rooms with an amazing view and clean bathrooms (dirty bathrooms are my kryptonite, don't ask me how I survived backpacking across SEA), and it was walking distance from everything! There was even a pool and Jacuzzi! AND It's so much more affordable than any hotel room, I will definitely plan a trip with friends in the future :]

The view from our room was GORGEOUS

Catalina is very much like Cuba in that there isn't much variety... don't get me wrong, it is 100x more luxurious and accommodating than Cuba, but the food options are minimal. You can either eat American-Mexican food, or splurge for fish (why fish is so expensive on an island is still mind-boggling to me), or eat frozen chocolate bananas and ice cream for every meal. So that's what we did! We ate ice cream from every single ice cream shop on Catalina. That's some island livin':

The most massive plate of Nachos I have EVER consumed... it took all 5 of us to eat half of it...

We saw all sorts of fish and got tangled up in kelp, and my shoulders almost died from kayaking!

I jumped off Frog Rock!!! With my life vest on, of course. Landing in the water the wrong way bruised my bootay :[ but it was SO MUCH FUN!!! to me the climb itself is more frightening than standing on top and jumping off, even tho Mike thinks otherwise. The view up there is amazing!!!

I was disappointed we didn't get to swim with leopard sharks while we were snorkeling :[ they're about 6ft long and they don't bite

Hiking was my FAVORITE, and we hiked buzzed all 3 days. Mike's mom and I LOVED IT but Mike has old-man knees

Buffalo's Milk - Catalina's signature drink, is basically vodka mixed with 4 different banana, cream, and chocolate liquers... In Mike's attempt every single night to get me drunk, he only got himself wasted. When will he ever learn that my liver is superior?

I think we've explored every inch of the Island that Wrigley (the man who invented the gum and bought Catalina) wanted us to explore, and it will be a loooong time before I come back here again.

Thank you for the beautiful weekend and the ocean breezes and drunken sunsets that will forever be imprinted in my memory :) I'll be back when it's my time to enroll in the Loafers Club

even if it ain't all it seems, I've got a pocket full of dreams

I've had about 4-5 months of doing everything I want to do, and nothing I don't. In all this time, I've taken trips near and far, ate a lot, drank a lot more, spent time with family, friends, and other loved ones, scattering my time away in a carefree haze. Oh, and I guess some days I went to work.

There are a small set of emails in my Gmail box designated to the "Grad School" tab... and those are the emails I've often opened and looked at, but have chosen to neglect. Well, in addition to my "Bills :(" tab which is another sad story.

Amongst those emails include a 184-pg Math Review set I have to look over before I take an assessment test, which includes Calculus problems I haven't encountered since wretched Ms. Kimura's 6:30AM Calculus BC class in Senior yr of high school. And also a Journalism opportunity that ends next week, requiring me to skim 2 books on Authoritarian Governments and pitch them, and then draft a 750 word writing sample (of what I still have no clue). Whoopee!

Anyway, I've let my whims take me where it will for so long that I've forgotten how it feels to begrudgingly do something that takes real effort and time away from "fun", and I really don't want to but know I have to

... and yet in some twisted way, secretly enjoy doing it. Like studying non-stop for Finals Weeks during college. Don't hate me, but I loved knowing that all I had to do for the entire days ahead was study my brains out... I kinda enjoyed it. I'm a freako. In other words, practicing self-discipline is something I haven't had to do for the last 4-5 months. And I'm dreading it, but also looking forward to it.

I've forgotten that feeling of reward and accomplishment you get from mastering a challenging idea, or even simply learning about something new. The greatest challenge I've had since finishing grad-school apps are running long distances to prepare for the Marathon... difficult, but not exactly the same.

I'm eager and enthused to finally start learning again, particularly applicable knowledge that will be practical for future issues like World Politics, the Environment, International Governments, Economic Development, etc. etc... vast problems that extend beyond my tiny, insignificant existence. At the same time, I'm terrified and shaking in my shoes. I'm excited to meet people who have done so much more than I have, know so much more than I do, and soak it all in from them and with them... but also extremely intimidated and anxious about being the only clueless student in an ocean of intelligent, aggressive, ambitious, cut-throat do-gooders.

I have about a month left here and I have a lot to prepare for, including and most importantly, composing a different state-of-mind. I was told that UCLA would be competitive, but I've never felt even an ounce of competition the entire 4 years I was there. Definitely not in the English department, but also not even in my Business Economics courses.

Maybe I'm just oblivious, but I'm hoping that I can demolish the competitive atmosphere by setting up a Happy Hour group so that we can all kick back and get along talk about microfinancing ventures over cheap appetizers and beer for the next 2 yrs.

Just because Grad School is starting soon, doesn't have to mean that all the fun is ending. It will be a different type of fun! And while it might be stressful, demanding, challenging, maybe excruciating at times...

I'm chasing my dreams :]

The biggest challenges are always the most rewarding!  Another journey is about to begin... better make sure I don't forget to pack my A-game :]

INFUSION!!!

I'm actually really glad I document events on this blog, because I would totally forget all the things that have happened throughout this summer! I'm making memories :] and also I always feel like I have adult on-set Alzheimers...

During my spare time, I like to experiment with new concoctions and get excited about them :) Strawberry-infused Vodka, and Mint Cucumber Gin! The strawberries turn albino after 3 days, but it's supposed to make the Vodka taste better than eating real strawberries! I'm planning to have an INFUSION party by my pool again soon :D it will be FUSION-TASTIC

Because of my weekly breakfast/brunch obsession and my curiosity for new destinations, I am practically out of ideas for breakfast spots in the Palms/Westwood/Culver City/West LA/Santa Monica regions. I think I will have to branch out to Brentwood and Venice soon.

I LOVE weekly breakfasts with this girl :D catch up sessions over morning coffee is the ABSOLUTE BEST.

Mike, his brother, and I polished off 2 bottles of wine at this BYOB Italian place near Abbot Kinney that is no longer BYOB after the night we went, and demolished 4 plates of pasta. Yesssss carbs!

Last Friday, my dream of seeing Les Miserable again finally came true, and I got tickets for my entire family and Mike's entire family so that they can understand my obsession, and pretty sure I squeezed Mike's hand to a pulp and whispered "OH MY GOSH THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG" to 10 different songs and cried at least 5 times throughout the musical. No lie. I love you, tragic French Revolution romance!

July 4th weekend was perfection! Zuma Beach was uber packed and trafficky, but I've discovered my love for running in the sand... BURNS SO GOOD.

Then I went home and spent the rest of it with family and friends <3 We forced my mom to eat greasy hotdogs and melty sandwiches, and she loved it!

We also BBQ-ed with my cousins and played board games for 3 hours. Scattergories and Taboo Champ in the hizz-ouse!!! No pictures :( I remade my awesome portobello mushroom burger with the mushroom as buns... not as big of a hit without cheese and with brown mushroom juice oozing down our fingers...

And I've been experimenting with my latest obsession... QUINOA!!! I made rice pudding out of Quinoa and almond milk... SO GOOD! And also, Kale and Mushroom Risotto out of quinoa... no pictures, but I devoured enough quinoa this last week to feed a small gluten-free family. I even ate it all before Mike could have any :D

We chowed down on some delicious pulled pork at Baby Blues BBQ for my old apartment-mate Jo's Birthday! Southern food is the BEST.

For 4th of July, I caught the fireworks show at Barnes Park from our traditional secret spot that my mom, sister, and I go to every year. We can avoid the crowds, and watch fireworks of 5 other cities, simultaneously. Score! It's right by my old elementary school and where I used to live up until 4th grade... ah, memories!

Then I got to experience mini-fireworks at my high school friend's annual July 4th party in his front yard! I LOVE these gatherings and the family portrait-esque pictures we always take, and hope they never end.

July 4th is one of my favorite holidays because of all the family, friends, and outdoorsy time that comes with it... even though I got mutant bug bites from standing next to shrubs while waiting for fireworks to start. also fireworks always makes me nostalgic <3 These are all the things I'm going to miss when I move, and are gonna make me cry when I'm homesick and reread these posts!

This coming weekend is packed with adventures with loved ones... YIKES IM EXCITED!

I want

Je veux de l'amour, de la joie, de la bonne humeur

Ce n'est pas votre argent qui fera mon bonheur

Moi je veux crever la main sur le coeur

Allons ensemble, découvrir ma liberté

Oubliez donc tous vos clichés

Bienvenue dans ma réalité

There are way too many things happening at all times of everyday

You can probably tell that I just started using the Instigram app on my iphone... or maybe you can't tell, but I'll show you! I kinda went crazy with it. It's like the Hipstamatic app but better, because Hipsters are lame.

Jackie's 24th Bday Party at Bacaro LA!

Me and the BDAY GIRL, and my old roomie, Sarah! She is awesome and brought me goodies from Canada :D I really need to get working on the whole taking-pictures-with-an-actual-camera thing... missing out on loads of pictures already!!!

Pool BBQ! I got stung by a bee, my cousin threw up, there were way too many chips n' salsa and fruit and veggie platters, and maybe also too many summer cocktails that turned out to really just be pure vodka... success <3

We will look back on these photos and show our grandkids and pretend we were all cool but really it's just the Instagram app. And also, we're cool.

Yelp event at Exchange LA with my lovely friendies!

At the Thirsty Crow with Petey Poo and Pear Pear!

I've semi-given up on Undiscovered and moved onto On the Road by Jack Kerouac. I gave it a good try. If I'm gonna read a non-fiction, I want it to at least be written well. I'm fickle with my attention span.

"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

-On the Road, Jack Kerouac

I have something embarrassing to admit...

OK, maybe lots of embarrassing things.

Like how I listen to these podcasts when I'm exercising (but never for running... that's reserved for music only) and laugh out loud randomly when I'm soaking in sweat on the spin machine and yes, people stare... podcasts by 30-yr-olds having conversation about food, wine, and decorating. I'm 35 and 14 yrs old at the same time on the inside.

And how I secretly want to work at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's (but only part time) and go to the TJ's by Mike's house at least 5x a week purely for the samples. It makes my day better.

And the fact that I turn into a bitch whenever I drink gin (ask Mike) and only gin. every. single. time. Including last night. But I still drink it cuz it goes down so good :]

And that in another life, I dream of having the skillz and patience to be able to blog like this lady, or this lady, and be best friends with this lady, who happens to live in West LA like moi and has a killer sense of humor.

I wonder what I would say if I ever ran into her... it's probably not safe for her to disclose her favorite restaurants in my neighborhood. This is my absolute favorite post from her, and it's not even about food.

I'm only writing this because I'm just really bored at work right now.

And I plan to be drunk on whiskey tonight for the 2nd night in a row. But I'm not really embarrassed about that :]

Guess where I was this weekend...

Las Vegas!!! Surprise, Surprise!!! Two times in less than a month... I think that's a new record for me! It was a last minute trip that was pretty much unplanned until the night before we left, but nonetheless it still turned out to be one of my favorites :]

It's been a curse (or blessing) living so close to vegas because ever since I celebrated my 21st birthday in Vegas, I've been about 15 times... and counting... I've got 2 more months in LA left!

I really didn't plan to go this weekend AT ALL, but we somehow managed to pull it together, and got a bombtastic suite at T.I. I don't think I've stepped inside T.I. since I went to Vegas with my mom as a kid, and have kind of forgotten that it is a tacky blend of pirates and cowboys... But surprisingly, our suite was GINORMOUS and baller, and the view was overlooking the strip! There were 2 bedrooms that connected, and since it was just 4 of us, me, Mike, his brother and his brother's girlfriend, we all got to sleep on a bed (GASP that's never happened to me in Vegas before!!!). There was a HUGE living room, 3 bathrooms, a hot tub in our bathroom, and they even gave us 2 free bottles of champagne!

This Vegas trip was really chill, and we did all the usual clubbing and drinking, but also dorky things I've never done before like the Dolphin Habitat at Mirage (Mike's idea) and also square dancing at a redneck bar in T.I. (also Mike's genius idea). We ate a single meal every day... basically gorging on buffets -Caesar's, Bellagio, and T.I. (cuz we had a discount), and Mike almost broke 100 chocolate covered strawberries -not exaggerating. Gag. I want to try the Wicked Spoon buffet at the Cosmopolitan next!

I felt like I was basically removed from the rest of the world for 3 days... like I hadn't seen any of my family and friends for ages, and it was nice to escape, but also kind of discomforting. I missed my mom sooo badly, and it's only been 2 weeks since I last saw her! What will I do in NY?!? I was also kind of sad because I missed a lot of people's graduation this past weekend!

My mom had a piano concert the weekend before. She's the cutest!

I finished The Help, and it's AHH-mazing! I read it in 3 days and couldn't put it down... I can't wait till the movie comes out, and even though I think the casting is extremely off -they cast Emma Stone as the main character even though she is supposed to be tall, lanky, blonde and awkward- I'm still psyched! There's something about reading stories set in the South that's really charming... even though it's about racial inequality. I'm finally getting to Unbroken, which I meant to start a while back. The Help was just so much more captivating and fun to read!

And as crazy as it is, I missed RUNNING during the Vegas trip! It's been a month since my half marathon, and a little over a month till my FULL marathon... YIKES!!! My body is itching for a solid, chest-pounding run where I'm gasping for air and my legs feel like jelly. Yes, that is fun for me. I wonder where I'll run when I'm in NYC... I can run forever outdoors, but I can only last 5 minutes on the treadmill before getting bored and feeling like a hamster.

I am totally unprepared for the BIG MOVE to New York. Nothing is really planned yet, and I have barely researched the SIPA curriculum. I don't think it's really hit me yet, that I'm leaving! I should gear up quick, because it's coming soon and I better be ready to move across the country in less than 2 months!!!